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1st draft: II

Lately I have been feeling very unwanted , unappreciated and unnoticed and it's not a feeling anyone would like to have . It gives me anxiety attacks to be here in this position but dont know what to do. Is it coming from my friends? Family? Or myself?

What does it feel like? Like you are covered with wounds all on your body and there is fire burning you inside and all you want to do is sit in the corner , throw your neck down looking at ground and sob like a 5 year old. Is it all about being a cry baby? You can call me that but ask yourself , how big boy you're? Oh you say, you havent cried ever in your life , well pity on you then, because you cannot feel the feeling of being broken .

Apologies, didnt really mean to be harsh, its just my thoughts running around like a monkey from a branch to branch , from sad to angry, frustated, tired, happy, exhausted, all at the same time. Do you feel the same? Welcome to the club!

Talking about feeling helpless, what is it that brings me here to write this blog today , is not that I'm feeling like a tiny fly under the carpet , who want to come out and fly or maybe just chill in the corner of the table over the biscuits.The reason of me starting to write this blog to trying to find the reason why is it so? Am I not getting enough love from people in my life? Am I not having any plans in future to look forward to? Actually i do but where is the motivation to start working on it. I'm having a world war every single minute in my brain having several different types of reasons/thoughts/beliefs contradicting with each other. Are you going through that as well? Leaving this draft right here unfinished , hopefully I find the reason to finsh it soon.

  • Astha Goswami

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